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RFC 98 Chat

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Discussion on RFC 98 [Community Team] https://github.com/NixOS/rfcs/pull/9817 Servers

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24 Nov 2021
@irenes:matrix.orgIrenesyes10:34:35
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.comit seems like those are different pillars of a healthy community10:34:37
@irenes:matrix.orgIrenesthat's what's gotten us so far10:34:39
@irenes:matrix.orgIrenesand uh10:34:40
@irenes:matrix.orgIrenesleadership by example is a core pillar of the RFC as it's intended10:34:52
@irenes:matrix.orgIrenesthat's why it does the whole tying it to leadership development thing10:35:00
@irenes:matrix.orgIrenesand explains how community team members are expected to hold themselves to the highest standard and be examples10:35:16
@irenes:matrix.orgIrenesI get that we need to formalize stuff more and that's fine, but that's already the core idea of it10:36:19
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.commaybe it takes more than one RFC to get this right10:37:27
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈

Jonas Chevalier: one other aspect that I believe is important if we want de-escalation to be an integral part of the community culture, is that people truly realize that everybody they talk to has their own complex life and background and experiences, experiences that may be difficult to convey to someone else but are no less true because of that.

this kind of ties into "assume good faith", but I think it's something that needs to be highlighted explicitly, because many people (in general, not specific to NixOS) have a tendency of treating other people in chatrooms almost like faceless bots, someone whose entire personality and life consists only of that which they can observe externally, and those external behaviours are viewed only in the context of their own personal experiences.

and that leads to de-escalation failures in many cases; ranging from assumptions of "they hold bigoted views so they must be intentionally malicious" to "they say their life is so much harder but I think they're just seeking attention" to, in the worse cases, "you're just mentally ill". all because people are not really willing or prepared to consider that someone may legitimately arrive at a different conclusion than them just because they are experiencing the world from a different perspective

10:37:35
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.comwe should offer meditation courses as part of the training :D10:38:24
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈I assume you mean mediation courses, not meditation? :p10:38:48
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈in all seriousness, that is not a terrible idea10:39:06
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.comI was joking halfly, meditation helps observing the world and diminish personal attack feelings10:40:47
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈while I agree in principle, I think it has too much cultural baggage to be a central dependency of the community management approach10:41:27
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈which is not to say that we can't borrow some ideas from it10:41:58
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.comI agree, but it would be fun to see another technical community being centered around it10:42:14
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.com(with my weird definition of fun :p)10:42:29
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈one suggestion that I sometimes make to people in emotional distress is somewhat related: grab a stopwatch, and set yourself a 1 minute delay for every message you send10:42:45
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈 just, when you read something, wait for the stopwatch to expire, and only then write your reply 10:43:01
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈it's a very simple no-thought-required trick, just always one minute, and it helps a lot for people to collect their thoughts and respond less impulsively10:43:27
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.comyeah that seems useful10:44:07
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈it's also a much easier sell than 'meditation' because it looks purely pragmatic10:44:10
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈while still achieving pretty similar results10:44:27
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.commeditation also takes much more time investment. It takes a while for the benefits to kick in.10:44:44
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈right10:44:55
* @joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈 is now thinking about mediation courses10:45:19
@zimbatm:numtide.com@zimbatm:numtide.comsimilarly, I don't know that technically-minded people are necessarily ready to invest time to learn about leadership and moderation10:45:58
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈oh, they are not, that is why we have so many moderation issues in tech10:46:16
@joepie91:pixie.townjoepie91 🏳️‍🌈it's not a part of the culture, yet10:46:22

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