| 5 Nov 2021 |
 Irenes | and that's all I want to say about sandro, because I don't really feel comfortable saying stuff about someone who barely knows me | 02:17:13 |
 @jonringer:matrix.org | I barely know tom, and I barely know you. I just consider myself a part of the Nix community | 02:17:47 |
| Irenes | tomberek: sorry, what possibilities for what? the views that people have on the RFC? | 02:17:51 |
| Irenes | sure | 02:18:04 |
| Irenes | well, we're getting to know each other now | 02:18:09 |
| Irenes | I wish it could be in a better context | 02:18:14 |
| @jonringer:matrix.org | As long as I feel like we all of have Nix as the first priority. I can tolerate some behavior that I may not agree with. But having other people tell me how I should act, say, or think is not making Nix a priority. It's making their narrative a priority. | 02:19:23 |
 tomberek | I'm focusing down on the "didn’t comment because there was nothing to change". What else did you consider? | 02:19:42 |
| Irenes | tomberek: I'm expressing my summary of a complicated situation in which many people believe many different things | 02:20:02 |
| Irenes | I could give you a better answer if I understand the purpose of the question | 02:20:13 |
| Irenes | are you trying to audit my thought process for the purpose of building trust? | 02:20:21 |
| Irenes | are you trying to show me that I could be wrong? | 02:20:25 |
| @jonringer:matrix.org | I feel like I'm starting to repeat myself, so I'm going to try and make up some work. | 02:20:37 |
| Irenes | I know I could be wrong, and I acknowledge that. it's a subjective assessment. | 02:20:38 |
| Irenes | jonringer: thank you again for your time, and I'm sorry to make you do all this. | 02:20:54 |
| tomberek | ( Irenes I am purposefully doing this in a manner of asking questions about things that confuse me, or that I don't understand. If my manner is odd, that is why. I'm not trying to be rude or condecending. ) | 02:21:20 |
| Irenes | I'm going to try more radical honesty in the hope that you may react better to it. I'm not sure I believe that you're not trying to be condescending, but I accept your statement at face value for the purpose of discussion. | 02:22:08 |
| Irenes | I don't remember the details of my thought process that you're asking about, the GitHub discussion was quiet for weeks. | 02:23:00 |
| Irenes | I also don't understand why my thought process matters to you, and I could do a better job of volunteering helpful information if I did. | 02:23:47 |
| Irenes | We are very different people, and that means that, first, the best way to communicate may be short and to-the point remarks, but, second, we are each at strong risk of misreading brevity as hostility. | 02:24:18 |
| Irenes | For the removal of doubt, I'm not upset with you right now. | 02:24:58 |
| Irenes | I understand that this is an important topic and that disagreement about it isn't personal. | 02:25:08 |
| tomberek | I'm referring to the interpretation of the community's reaction. I doubt the only reason people would not comment is because they did not want to change it. That doubt is leading me to ask if there are other reasons you thought/think about, or would consider. | 02:27:19 |
| Irenes | In my experience with large-scale discussions of important things, negative opinions are always over-represented. | 02:28:05 |
| Irenes | There's always a small set of people who have thought about the topic before and have their own well-formed opinions on it, and a much larger set of people for whom this is the first time they've taken the topic seriously. | 02:28:31 |
| Irenes | One of the horrible things that social media is doing to society is that these days, the people who have never thought about the topic before feel an obligation to form a strong opinion on it, to do so immediately, and to express that opinion in public as a sign of tribal affiliation. I dislike that pattern strongly. | 02:29:39 |
| Irenes | Fortunately, we didn't have a lot of that on the RFC. | 02:29:47 |
| Irenes | I think pretty much everyone who weighed in had pre-existing feelings on the issue, and we can be grateful for that, because it's a lot easier to talk things through and appeal to reason when opinions are actually coming from a place of reason rather than from an urge to participate. | 02:30:21 |
| tomberek | How much do you think the negative opinions are over-represented? How much do you think positive opinions are over-represented? (clearly not looking for exactness, an order of magnitude?) | 02:30:42 |
| Irenes | I think in a discussion like this negativity always crowds out positivity, because it's frightening to people. | 02:31:07 |
